Iâve always been happy to have been born when I was â even if it does seem like a long time ago! Being at the leading edge of the Baby Boomers has been a good ride â sometimes it was a roller coaster, others a slow easy bike ride. Iâm no longer distressed at the pace of technology and my inability to keep up. I donâtâ mind NOT looking at hundreds of channels, mastering the nuances of my phone or the internet and social media. I let myself pick and choose whatâs relevant for me. I donât even mind the comments about boomers! I have been reflecting of late about the changes in later life, health and its connection to aging â like retirement, medical break throughs, the psychology of not being in the main stream anymore, to name a few. One of the things that has stood out to me, particularly since the pandemic, is how do we continue to âfit intoâ the world as it rapidly evolves. How do we manage change and not feel overwhelmed, irrelevant or all alone? I donât have a lot of âearthâ in my astrological chart, (mostly water and air), but I think feeling grounded or anchored is a key to navigating our evolving world successfully.
What "Anchors" do we need?
We donât have to be in the Navy or even own a boat to need a few anchors⊠theyâre virtual anchors but you get the idea. Anchors are parts of ourselves and lives that hold us in place, help define who we are and provide reassurance that we matter. Examples of virtual anchors might include:
Job
Family
Friends
Hobbies
Health
Living space
Town where we live
Church or spiritual practice
You can name more virtual anchors, Iâm sure. So, what happens if we weigh anchor (willingly or not) and start to drift? There is the feeling we are no longer in control (we all weighed anchor when the pandemic hit, for instance.) What happens when we retire, a partner departs, we move to a new house or town, or experience a significant health issue. In other words when life pulls up the anchor on us? How do we get that solid footing back?
Losing my Anchor with Ageism
I learned about this the hard way about 7 years ago. I weighed anchor and moved to an island with my secure job. Three months later my colleagues and I were laid off after being told we had done the best job yet - in the 8 years weâd been providing a wellness program to a major corporation. I felt pretty lost without my work identity (anchor), not to mention being separated from my âhomiesâ by a ferry ride and knowing almost no one on the island. All of a sudden, in the grayest time of year, I was home all day alone trying to figure out Medicare, Social Security and unemployment as my new hobbies! And no one wanted to hire me as a health coach even though I was amply qualified for the job openings to which I applied.
It was my first ageism experience. Around this same time, I was asked by a friend of my youngest daughter if I would mind being interviewed for an article she was writing about âFinding Work Past the Age of 60â. I said âsure, but she might not like my answers.â It was a nice interview and my opinion was that itâs REALLY hard to get hired if youâre over 60. My interviewer laughed ruefully and said she had determined from all her interviewees that the best way to be employed after 60 was to start your own business! Ageism again!
So, below I share a few simple steps that helped me get some new virtual anchors (and better/new hobbies).
How to set your own virtual anchors
Donât be an island
Reach out to people, family and friends and talk about what you are experiencing or need. There is so much going on itâs impossible to be aware of it all ourselves. Other people are fabulous resources and their kindness and concern are wonderful as well. The collective creativity I encountered was amazing! I do admit to having to push myself a bit, even though Iâm an extrovert.
Think back to what you used to love doing
When we spend a lot of time in the service of others through our job as we are earning a living or taking care of the family itâs easy to forget about our own original identity. Make a list of ten things you would like to do/try⊠start a business, work at a favorite charity, take a class in that subject you loved back in school, learn guitar or wood-working, write a book â or at least your memoirs! Maybe there are things you remember wanting to do that are no longer possible in the exact way you might like⊠becoming an opera singer is no longer an option but you could buy season tickets, design an opera vacation, volunteer as an usher at the local company, study the lives of current star singersâŠand sing arias in the shower. You got this!
Practice self-care
This can be a tough one since we want to revert to our creature comforts when we are under stress â a.k.a. lose an anchor â and that might include our less than stellar habits. The fact that weâve worked in the service of others for decades and put ourselves last doesnât make it easy either. Think of how you would take care of a race horse if you owned one â the best food, vet care, exercise, restâŠnow treat yourself as if you are that horse!
Reconnect with nature
Get outside! This is easy to do, assuming your neighborhood is safe, and helps us be more grounded. You could cook a meal with all fresh ingredients; go for a walk just to appreciate being out in nature, check out the local farmers market, work in the yard or plant a garden. (Boxes work great if you are in a small space. They can even be on legs to save your back!)
Find like-minded people
If you like bike riding, gardening, quilting, volunteering, singing, walking, photography or ?? look on the internet to find a group to join. Having a common interest will help break the ice and you wonât revert to watching TV reruns with a pint of ice cream nearby because youâre feeling shy! If you canât remember what it is you like to do for fun think back to your younger daysâŠwere you artistic, athletic or an activist? There are people already out there having fun and you can join them!
Those are some tips that helped me feel back at anchor and in charge of my life. If you feel adrift give one or more of them a try. Iâd be happy to help you figure it all out!
Key Takeaway
Make that list of 10 things youâd like to do or try and start setting your anchors!
Next Steps
Claire Denise is the founder of Positive Aging and takes pride in promoting lifestyle as a tool to improve your health/resilience. She has 20 years of experience as a personal trainer, nutritionist, health coach, and yoga instructor. Her classes are easy, informative, and fun.
If you would like to increase your potential lifespan, have healthier activities, and feel younger again, then join the Positive Aging Community today and get your first BrainEx session free!
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